My blog - Strength and Courage - The experience and discovery of my birth parents and family

Texas bound road trip in the Mimi mobile

by Mary Lynne on Dec 25, 2019 category May 2018

“On the road again” https://music.apple.com/us/album/on-the-road-again/422030167?i=422030222

Our son Sean accepted an internship with Exxon Mobile in the summer of 2018. He asked if I would accompany him from Minnesota to Houston in early May. This was a ‘no brainer’ acceptance for me for three reasons; one – he was a junior at Univ of Minnesota which is 7 hours north of Chicago so time & distance keeps us apart; two – he is a busy guy so even when he is home his social calendar is pretty packed and three it was a great opportunity to swing by the Waco area to have Sean meet my newly extended family. 🙂

In mid-May we embarked on our 3 day journey in the Mimi mobile setting our sights to land day one in …. The Mimi mobile is an early 2000 Buick Le Sabre with plush blue leather interior, heated seats (at least one side works) and lots of white steel surrounding the driver and passengers. This car has been the envy for all of the grandkids. It was duly named the Mimi mobile since Andy’s (my spouse) mother Carol Shafer, aka Mimi, owned it. This Buick has a V6 engine that is still humming and with good pickup, constantly defying the elements of weather, rust, and the rotational teenager use. Although Sean was pretty convincing after his bus, train, walking experience with an internship in Minneapolis the summer before his sophomore year, to become the sole owner of the car while on campus for the next two+ years.

On our journey to Texas it was Sean who introduced me to a wider world of podcasts listening to some of his favorites as American Scandal and Dr Death by the Wondery and some of mine including Michael Lewis and the Ted Radio Hour. Excerpt of one favorite that we listened to on the road is attached below: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ted-radio-hour/id523121474?i=1000411807718. Between the podcasts, rock n roll music, good conversation, great barbecue, and awesome sushi in Dallas we were one day away from our arrival in Waco to introduce Sean to my new extended family.

Officially on the road from Minneapolis to Texas!

Great little diner for our breakfast stopping point in Kansas

It was in Dallas that I could show Sean where I was born in a hospital that now no longer exists due to a crumbling infrastructure. Amazingly this is the same hospital where it made history in 1954 with inclusion principles and again in 1985 with technology focusing on the heart.

More info can be found at https://blogs.library.unt.edu/southwest-metroplex/2015/12/16/the-end-of-st-paul-medical-center/. It was the St Paul hospital which according to my adopted grandmother was the hospital where she brought me into from a building across the street. She was made to believe that children born out of wedlock were not allowed to be born in the actual hospital. In truth, I was born in the hospital and as mentioned in my prior blog the nurses whisked me away before Sherry could ever lay eyes on me let alone know if I was born alive or not. I will never know if in fact my adopted grandmother did carry me from one building to another before presenting me to my adopted parents or if the story of being born outside of the hospital was fabricated by her or the adoption agency.

Our next stop was to the house I grew up in until 7 years old. I lived in a smaller home on Arapahoe Drive in Richardson, TX but I remember more of my life on La Cabeza Drive where my cousins lived a few houses away and we could connect to them via an alleyway. This was the same house where I met my wonderful friend Marnie Cloward whose mother knitted me a beautiful crocheted blanket and a Fanta orange hat. She eventually moved to Salt Lake City with her family and got married in the amazing Mormon church. It was also the same house where I informed a little girl across the street that Santa Claus was not real because my older cousins told me this…. oops! It was also the house where I began to learn more about the prevalence of alcoholism in my uncle’s house who live a few houses away. I must of have some early inkling of this in my own house as I tried to run away one night with my Twiggy bag full of jewelry (I still like jewelry today!) but didn’t make it past the front door.

Fonder memories include becoming a blue bird at the elementary school James Bowie which is still standing strong before Girl Scouts were popular, swimming like a fish at Greenspoint pool a few blocks away, tasting honeysuckle flowers and pretending to drive my adopted Dad’s old blue falcon. I must have always liked cars! A couple pictures to share of my old stomping ground:

Next stop after Dallas was Waco on May 18, 2018 so Sean could meet my new family. We arrived mid-morning in Waco meeting Sherry and Gary first. The rest of the family including Angi, Kori & Korbin, Brandy, Kristen (lil Kris) Tony and Dylan joined us later in the day where everyone enjoyed getting to know Sean while enjoying a beautiful spring day. Our second day was spent at Magnolia with everyone enjoying the cupcakes and then off to a good restaurant for some great local fare. Overall great trip before we sent Sean on his way to Houston!

Easter Sibling meet-up in Virginia – April 2018

by Mary Lynne on Dec 22, 2019 category Uncategorized

Kristen is my half-sister living in Virginia and outside of phone calls & FaceTime we had not met yet in person. Since I was on business travel earlier in the week in Baltimore and New Jersey the timing was perfect to accept her invitation for an Easter weekend meet-up! Kristen, her husband Scott with their daughter and sheep-a-doodle have a lovely home not too far from the Dulles airport. I arrived late Friday night welcomed by my new sister and the family. Saturday greeted us with sunny skies, a few vineyard stops and a great little creperie for lunch. For Easter Sunday we went to this awesome restaurant located on a vineyard, sitting by a cozy fire and enjoying some walking time afterwards. Madeline and their next door neighbor’s daughter had a gorgeous day for an Easter egg hunt and their new puppy was bursting with energy to join the fun.

Kristen at the time was having to travel a fair amount with her job and given their recent move she was hoping this would change by the end of the year. The good news is that it did! It was such a great visit with both Kristen and Scott! I am trying to encourage a trip out to Chicago soon to meet many of our family members and extend the kind of hospitality they gave me. As always a few pictures to share of my incredible Easter weekend.

My lil sis, her hubby and Madeline after Easter dinner

A vineyard side trip the day before Easter. Great wine and company!

My 1 year old Birthday – March 23, 2018

by Mary Lynne on Jul 23, 2019 category Uncategorized

Today is my birthday. But instead of celebrating my 53rd birthday I am celebrating my 1st birthday! Why is this you ask? This was the first year that my birth mother and her hubby Gary came to the ‘north country’ of the US to celebrate my birthday. We enjoyed downtown Chicago including the Field Museum, mini makeover for Sherry and I at the Estée Lauder counter, beignets at the Grand Lux Cafe, and a Blackhawks hockey game to wind an incredible weekend to a close. Here are a few pictures to share:

Go Blackhawks! Hockey game with the family.

Uncle Dabo

by Mary Lynne on Sep 2, 2018 category February 2018

Sherry spoke with her brother David the weekend before I was to arrive. Until this weekend he had no idea that she became pregnant at the age of 16 let alone had given birth to a baby girl in March of 1965. There were several reasons why she waited until the weekend before to tell him what had happened. So when Sherry called and asked to come over to speak with him, he was already intrigued since they hadn’t spoke in a while.

I imagine she told him in this way ‘ David do you remember when I went to go live with our Aunt Francis and Uncle Pete? It was because I was pregnant and our parents thought it best for me and you to live away from home.’ She told me he said that he had absolutely no idea. He also said that being 10 years old at the time (Sherry is a 6.5 years older) he never once thought about it being anything else other than she had a hard time with her breakup from her boyfriend and didn’t want to be at the same school.

Sherry mentioned that I was coming out the following weekend and asked if he would like to meet me. So they agreed that he would most likely come over on Sunday.

While we were at the Davidian compound, Sherry slow cooked a beef roast for dinner. When David was ready to come over, she mentioned this to him as It had been a while since he had accepted to stay for dinner. Not entirely sure why this had been the case before, but I am happy to say that he did and he asked the rest of his family (2 sons and his wife) to join us for dessert.

Uncle ‘Dabo’ was given this name by his nieces and nephews. When he walked into Sherry’s house, he was truly in awe of the likeness of me with his sister And still in disbelief that his sister had me without him knowing when she was 17. I told him all about me, my family, etc., how I found Sherry and the steps that took place for my visit. When his wife, Glenna came over she was also reassured that I was Sherry’s daughter based on the likeness of the two of us. She also told us that it was because of a possible descendant link to Pocahontas that she asked David to do the DNA.com test. When the results came in, Glenna looked at it once to see how far back it went and with the ancestor history going back to the 1800’s vs the 1600’s, she stopped looking.

Sherry gave me this picture of the extended family including her brother, Uncle Dabo, my half sisters and brother, nieces and nephews, and spouses.

When Uncle Dabo was leaving he hugged me and said he was still in shock that he didn’t know about my birth. I hoped this was a good surprise!

Go Fish and The Davidian field trip Feb 18, 2018

by Mary Lynne on Apr 28, 2018 category Uncategorized

Sunday morning was a realization how comfortable it was being with my new family and what I felt and saw with my birth mom was the unconditional love she gave to everyone including me as her new daughter. What a great feeling this was! I also woke up to great smells of breakfast and coffee with everyone coming over to enjoy a great meal together. My niece Kristen (who also has a blog called the Coveted Truffle) had already gone out to get some grits which is one of my favorite southern comfort food plus we had savory biscuits & gravy, scrambled eggs, bacon and fruit. It was incredibly good – all the memories of Southern cooking!

When Tony came he brought his son Dylan. An adorable 8 year old boy who loves baseball, video games and card games. Yesterday Dylan, Tony and I played Go Fish which is one of Dylan’s favorite card game. Usually Dylan wins according to his dad but he had a new Aunt to play against who ended up winning her first game in a long time. So.. after breakfast, it was time for a rematch with a few more family members joining the game and after several rounds, Dylan took back the winner title. Seems like I will need to brush up on my go fish skills – he is a hard one to beat!

After our go fish game we embarked in a couple cars to head to the Davidian compound. This was based on the Waco show discussion we had last night and the fact that no one has been out the the compound. Lil Kristen’s car arrived first at a closed gate. She called us as we were getting closer letting us know that they were waiting unclear if it was open or not. Then she started to see someone approach the gate from inside, unlocking it, and opening up for a tour of the compound. Good news as we approached to park along the gate.

We walked through the gates to the compound as shown below

Once we past the entrance, we walked up to a memorial which was dedicated to the 93 people who passed away in the fire (which has yet to be determined how it got started). So many women and children died – very sad.

The Jones family (highlighted in the picture below and mainly her 2 aunts) was a relation to my brother, Tony’s ex-wife, who used to go as a young girl and play on the compound.

We walked up to the rebuilt church for a tour and a talk by the current Davidian couple who lives on site. As I understand the Davidian religion was never intended to be in the direction the David Koresh took it. Below is a picture of the school bus that was the entrance to the underground bunker. If you want more info on the Davidian compound stand-off there is the current series on Paramount called Waco and I believe there is a documentary that is also playing on another TV channel.

We finished our rather sobering tour and headed back for home to enjoy an amazing pork roast and to finally meet my Uncle David Richey who was the reason behind the find of my birth mother.

The Family Greeting Feb 17, 2018

by Mary Lynne on Mar 18, 2018 category Uncategorized

I toyed with the idea of calling this the family meeting – but since learning from my husband when his parents called for a ‘’family meeting’ it meant someone was in trouble where a discussion and perhaps an intervention would take place. This is definitely not the case!
My mom and I woke up and decided to stop on the way to get some coffee so we could get to Waco around lunchtime. While Sherry drove, I worked on my blog website learning as I was going along (not the easiest but a very rewarding challenge). Kristen, Angi’s daughter and her hubby Zach called us as they were driving from College Station, TX to Sherry’s house. Kristen who is known as Lil Kris because she named after her Aunt Kristen (known as Big Kris or just ‘Sister’) is a nurse. Sherry is so excited to have a nurse now in the family since it was her dream as well! Her husband Zach is finishing his computer science and engineering degree at Texas A&M so they live in College Station, TX which is about 1 hour southeast from Waco.

Kristen and Zach!

Sherry asked that Kristen call her mom Angi to let them know we should arrive around 12:30 pm. As we were pulling onto the street where Sherry lives she asked me if I was nervous. I didn’t think so since I met my sister and brother via FaceTime. Then she followed up with the fact that everyone was there waiting. 🙂 Tony arrived first with Dylan as he has been excited to see us. Others had arrived shortly after him. We pull into the driveway then into the garage. Sherry said we would get our things later and we walk toward the back sliding glass door. She has several lovely wind chimes hanging from a wooden pergola over the back porch and a koi pond with plants all around. We walk in the back door seeing my family members standing up in their family room. Everyone begins to say hello and then I ask if I can give each family member a hug. That seemed so appropriate to break the ice! So one by one, I hug my sister Angi , brother Tony, Sherry’s husband Gary, brother-in-law Michael, nephews Dylan and Korbin, nieces Kori and Kristen and her husband Zach. My sister Kristen, her husband Scott and their daughter Madeline were not able to join us but I am hoping to see them late March or early April. So in total from my Mother’s family I have twelve wonderful new family members who are now part of my life! What did I do to deserve this is what I ask??!! Truly blessed!

We decide that we are all pretty hungry and Mexican food sounds good. So I climb into Sherry’s car with her husband Gary driving and we head out to one of the women’s favorite place. Apparently there is a debate as to whether this is a favorite place for the men in the family too but as I am beginning to learn from my birth mother that she and her daughters are strong, empowered and well respected! We arrive and there is a 45 min wait since there are 10 of us. We call a couple other places to find one that can accommodate our group size right away. A newly renovated restaurant said they had availability so off we drove to this one. We fill a table and start right away with chips, salsa and queso. Growing up in Texas and eating a fair amount of tex/mex food I begin to feel right at home with my new family.

A long table filled with family!

Angi, Tony, Sherry, me and Brandy (Angi’s hubby)

We finished our lunch around 3pm deciding to head back to the house. The sun began to shine creating more warmth to the day so we stayed outside for a while playing ball with Sherry’s poodle dog, Harley and Lil Kris’ Australian shepherd dog, Maggie. We swapped stories about our lives, our families growing up, what we are doing now, etc. Cori was studying for a big exam on Monday so several family members were quizzing her to help her prepare. Since our conversations were so engaging we decided that instead of going out for dinner we would send out for pizza. The guys who had set off for more beverages came back with a couple funny stories about their quest to find wine, beer, cider and dessert. Ryan and Brittany good friends of Zach and Kristen’s also joined us that evening sharing wonderful news of their pregnancy! Everyone was so elated to hear the news! At some point in the evening after several rounds of ‘go fish’ card games we started talking about the new show on Spike TV called ‘Waco’ re-creating the story on the Branch Davidian compound and the terrible fire in 1993 where 83 people died. I had heard on NPR just recently an interview between Gary Noesner, a retired FBI chief hostage negotiator and David Thibodeau, one of the few Davidian survivors. Some of the family remembers seeing the smoke from the fire all the way to their high school. Tony’s ex-wife had 2 aunts who decided to stay in the compound perishing in the fire. What everyone realized is that no one had been to the actual compound. So we decided that after breakfast on Sunday we would venture out there. I think we could have talked all night but decided to call it an evening sometime around midnight.

I found the first day with my new family just delightful! There was definitely a feeling of comfort, belonging and just overall fun. So much to soak in not only finding my birth mom but nine new people that I didn’t know I was related to until January 1, 2018. 🙂

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